Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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