Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
