i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
