We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
