All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
