she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
