Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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