We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
