I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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