that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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