Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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