Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

My friends, they love my intelligence

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(516): View more from New York

I woke up on my floor...

(1-516): View more from New York

I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...

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(303): View more from Colorado

Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!

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(330): View more from Ohio

Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.

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(440): View more from Ohio

But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.

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(281): View more from Texas

All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".

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(530): View more from California

So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.

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(904): View more from Florida

...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.

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(907): View more from Alaska

He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!

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