I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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