Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Still dying that you shit outside
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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