Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
