Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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