I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
