How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
MIDGETS
????
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
