I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
