I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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