Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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