oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
