She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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