VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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