I could have mohawked her pubes.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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