he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
