we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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