i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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