His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
