so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize