There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
how drunk are you?
Several
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
