girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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