Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
