used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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