I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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