so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize