Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
