You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
