Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
