Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
