And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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