i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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