hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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