he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize