So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
