Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
