today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
