And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
