is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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