I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
