I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
