The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
