She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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