I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The dick lei will go down in squad history
where are my eyebrows?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
