He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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