I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
