dude i'm inner monologue high
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
