I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
