Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
