If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
