Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
