...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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