I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize