So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
