Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize