I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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