Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
