I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
